Change can be scary, but sometimes you just know you have to take that step. I have had many changes over the past few years–several of which have been monumental. But nothing will ever compare to the change that took place 21 years ago, when I decided to follow Jesus. He is my First Love and always will be. So in the past three years, I have been through a variety of big changes along this “broken road” we call life.
I have been through the devastation of two separations and a divorce. I have spent time as a single mom, something I never thought I would be. Two years ago, I went through a period of major depression, so deep that I thought of ending my life at one point.
But I also have had some wonderful changes, such as having the opportunity to start my own school. I will tell you that I was not equipped to do this, so God did it through me. I still marvel on a regular basis that this is real, and not a dream.
Earlier this year, with fear and trembling (This was actual trembling, not metaphorical trembling.), I decided to enter the dating scene. (My last date had been 24 years prior, and things have definitely changed since then!) I figured I would date around and figure out what I really wanted in a man. I did want to remarry, but I expected it would be a few years. I reasoned that it would take awhile to find the right man. But I did pray that God would provide someone who would love me and my children, a godly man who put Jesus first in his life. So I had a few dates. It was fun and interesting, but also somewhat terrifying.
We should never be surprised when God answers prayer quickly. But often we are, aren’t we? After about a month on the dating scene, I met a godly man. We quickly became close friends, and then best friends, and then more than friends. I observed how he interacted with me and with others, including my children, and I knew that God had answered my prayer. So I look forward to marrying my best friend in December. It will be a change, another unexpected change, and frankly, it’s a little scary. But it’s not too scary, because I know that we both have placed Jesus first in our lives.
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
(Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12)
That cord of three strands in any relationship should be the two involved in that relationship, with God in the middle. I am blessed and thankful that we have that strand in our relationship. God is good all the time, and He allows changes in our lives–some positive, some negative. But He always works those changes for our good, if we truly love Him. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for us as we embark on a journey through the “broken road” of life until the day He calls us into the perfection of eternity.
“beauty from ashes” Isaiah 61:3